Childcare

Does it pay for one of us to stay home?

Last reviewed August 30, 2026 · Relevant for ages 0 to 5

Quick answer

Compare take-home pay, not salary, against the full cost of working: childcare for every child, commuting, and the spending that only exists because you work. Many second incomes look marginal on that arithmetic during the under-five years. But the short-term comparison is the wrong one to decide on alone, because leaving work also costs future earnings, retirement contributions, and the difficulty of re-entering later.

What to consider

Take-home, not gross
The relevant figure is what actually lands in your account after tax and payroll deductions, which is often 25 to 35 percent below the salary number.
Childcare is per child, and temporary
Two under-fives can roughly double the cost. It also falls sharply at school age, so a couple of expensive years can be worth absorbing.
Retirement contributions are the hidden cost
Leaving work usually stops both your contributions and any employer match. Over a decade that compounds into a number far larger than the salary forgone.
Career re-entry
Returning after several years often means returning below the level you left. That gap persists, and it rarely appears in a break-even calculation.
What you actually want
This is not purely a financial question, and treating it as one produces bad decisions in both directions. The arithmetic tells you the price of the choice, not which choice is right.

The numbers

Childcare price variation

Varies by multiples between states and care types

Infant care is consistently the most expensive category, and centre-based care usually costs more than home-based. This is why we ask for your local number rather than assuming a national one.

Source: Child Care Aware of America

The costs people forget

Commuting, work clothes, bought lunches, convenience food

Commonly a few hundred dollars a month, and it disappears entirely if one parent stops working.

The break-even question

What salary is needed to cover childcare plus work costs

The calculator solves for this directly, which is usually more useful than the net figure because it tells you what a different job would need to pay.

Your options

Both parents keep working

Best for: Where both incomes are substantial, or careers are at a critical stage

Advantages

  • Retirement contributions continue for both
  • No career gap to explain later
  • Two incomes is a real buffer if one job disappears

Disadvantages

  • The most expensive option during the under-five years
  • Highest logistical load on the household

Typical cost: Full childcare cost per child

One parent stops work

Best for: Where childcare would consume most of the lower take-home pay

Advantages

  • Removes the childcare bill entirely
  • Simpler weeks, and more slack when a child is ill

Disadvantages

  • Lost earnings, contributions, and progression
  • Re-entry is harder than most people expect
  • Household income depends on one job

Typical cost: The lower take-home pay, plus long-term earnings

One parent goes part-time

Best for: Most families looking for a middle path

Advantages

  • Keeps a foot in the career and often keeps some benefits
  • Cuts childcare days rather than eliminating the role

Disadvantages

  • Part-time roles are not available in every field
  • Can attract a disproportionate pay cut

Typical cost: Partial childcare, partial income

Shifted schedules or family care

Best for: Where shift patterns or nearby family make it workable

Advantages

  • Can cut paid childcare to almost nothing
  • Keeps both incomes

Disadvantages

  • Parents may barely overlap, which has its own cost
  • Relying on family can strain the relationship if it is not explicitly agreed

Typical cost: Low in money, high in everything else

Work out your number

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Daycare vs Stay-at-Home Calculator

Compare the true cost of paid childcare against one parent leaving work, including the costs most comparisons miss.

Open the calculator

Your action plan

This week

  1. Get an actual quote from two local childcare providers rather than using an average.
  2. Find your real monthly take-home pay from a payslip.
  3. Add up commuting, work clothes, and bought lunches for one month.
  4. Run the calculator and note the break-even salary, not just the net figure.

Next month

  1. Check whether your employer offers a dependent care FSA, which changes the arithmetic.
  2. If considering leaving, find out what happens to your retirement contributions and match.
  3. Ask someone in your field who returned after a break what re-entry actually looked like.

Watch for

  • Comparing childcare against gross salary, which overstates the case for working.
  • Ignoring retirement contributions, which understates the cost of leaving.
  • Forgetting the cost falls sharply at school age, so this is a few-year problem, not a permanent one.
  • Treating a close financial result as though it settles the question. If the numbers are close, the decision is not really financial.

Common questions

Should I compare childcare to one salary or to both?

To the take-home pay of whichever parent would actually stop working, plus that person work-related costs. Comparing it to household income makes childcare look artificially small.

The numbers say staying home is better. Should I do it?

Not on that alone. The calculator covers the short-term cash position. It cannot price lost progression, retirement contributions, or how either choice will feel in three years.

What about the value of the work a stay-at-home parent does?

It is substantial, and our stay-at-home parent salary calculator prices it role by role at market wages. That figure is not income, but it is a fair answer to anyone who calls it not working.

Where these numbers come from